Whubbley Mountain Lions & Icebergs

Cats. Working. Hating their job.

That sounds like my old life - before the shop.

Go here.

Do it.

Also, I have concluded this my best piece of Photoshop thievery - in that it looks good, not that the stealing was good.

It was produced as the poster for an evening of, oh sod it - read the bloody thing! Should be very good!



Finally, the picture below is symbolic of my life. I loves it I does. It is the artwork for the new Biffy Clyro single I prattled on about recently. It’s awesome and is out next Monday.

I am having both images professionally printed to adorn my walls. Go me.

Oh, and I am reflecting on one year on since… balls and gnash gnash grrr.

Still one year on from December 07 - January 08 shall hopefully be aceness and shiny apples of joy, so there’s that to look forward to.

Message ends.

I am the mountain, I am the sea, you can't take that away from me...

Hmmm, I only seem to blog when annoyed. I guess because it is an open forum and writing it down can be carthartic.

Well, today I’m in a thoroughly good mood. Had a long tiring week, but an enjoyable weekend which included Warhawk, Jim Beam and Starship Troopers with Husky on Saturday, then a trip to see Benji in Worcester on Sunday.

I’m still enjoying listening to music on my iPod I had long forgotten about, so expect more lyrics as I see fit. It’s nice to hear music for pleasure rather than the anthems for cash that was my life as a DJ.

My new exercise and breakfast regime is going well. I’m currently doing situps morning and night and keeping a diary of what I’m doing to help me form the habit. The leisure centre here reopens on September 1st, so I’m planning to start swimming three times aweek again as I was back in Swindon before I started the shopfitting. So that’s a work-in-progress that I’m pleased about.

Money is tight this month after a night out with Neil. Keeping up with that boy and his seemingly bottomless pockets is very draining financially and emotionally. Our night was taking a turn for the amorous when Sadler reeled in two lovely ladies before declaring his love for his girlfriend. I was able to capitalise on said groundwork and all was going charmingly. Then Neil managed to bugger it all up with one of his tetchy rants. Bless him. I wouldn’t mind but the phrase “she started it” is not acceptable out of the mouth of any bloke over the age of about nine!

Games night is going very well at the shop which is great. Murder City highlighted how rusty my roleplaying skills have become, so hopefully the forthcoming free-form RPG that Rich is running will give me a chance to give them a workout. The last lot of RPG I did saw me GMing it all so it will be nice to get back to playing.

Had an invite to do some LARPing separately to the stuff a lot of my friends do. Daunting, but nice to break away from the stuff like Renewal and have my own experience rather than one informed by others. I had previously tried to explain to folks that I had some rubbish experience with LARP in the past but got a torrent of abuse including my favourite - “Of course you wouldn’t like it, it’s exercise after all.” You know who you are, and you still draw breath through my good grace monsieur.

Anyway for now I am slave to the shop, so it won’t be till next year at the earliest.

Right, must wrap up and get my head down but I shall leave you with these thoughts:

If you order a cooked breakfast/fry up always try a mushroom first. If they are undercooked don’t even consider trying the meat!

There is no way to ask a couple to keep the noise down when they have sex without sounding like a prude - especially if you are single.

And finally, this from xkcd…

The Lion, the Bitch and the Whore-drobe.

Drunk, I am. Make sense I may not. Hee hee hee hee…

Neil back in the house. Army Neil that is. For those that know him he needs no introduction. Those that don’t, Neil is in the REME (wReck Everything, Mainly Electrical) in the Army. He’s a Corporal who has jsut been promoted to Sergeant and some would refer to him as a liability.

Tonight I was reminded why!

Back from work, shower, change, Neil arrives. Off into town, Pizza Hut, small meal then Revolution for a banquet of JD, coke, chilli vodka, porridge vodka (seriously) and the arrival of our third Mouseketeer, Sadler.

Sadler again needs no introduction to most. The rest of you should just imagine.

Sadler, Neil and I eventually move onto the ‘spoons after much perving and drinking. Sadler is driving so his consumption is purely non-alchyfrolic.

Eventually we end up in a blues/rock bar. I forget which. Neil strolls in like he owns the joint missing the fact there is a cover charge on the door and is hauled back out.

Good start.

We get drinks, we get seats, and quickly we upgrade to safas. We eye a girl who is slinky and clearly looking for a good time but as latched onto two lame guys, one of which is sadly in truly awful white shorts.

Game for a laugh, we egg Neil on and send him up to try to sweep her away.

Her response? “Got any ketamine?”

Classy.

Neil makes small talk then extricates himself from the formerly slinky girl, now known to us as simply, ‘nuts’.

Then Sadler and I catch the eye of a girl sat at another table who comes over. She introduces herself with the opening gambit of, “you look like Orlando Bloom”.

This is aimed at Sadler I hasten to add. She wasn’t blind.

She then introduces herself to me and the boy, and asks if her friends can join us. Moments later, Jane and her cohorts join our talbe in one big happy table.

Sadler makes it discreetly clear he’s attached and Jane’s focus turns to me. We discuss real film names turned into pornos and I unleash and an old favourite - Glad-he-ate-her. It is a hit and we’re all laughing like drans. Jane moves so that our legs are rubbing against each other and we chat some more.

I feeling pretty damn God-like at this point.

Then we tune into Neil’s conversation with Jane’s friend. Sadly I’ m shallow enough to have missed her name.

Neil is trying to guess her weight, dress size and number of previous sexual partners.

The night deteriorates.

He’s a fucking plum,

All in all it was a quality night. I love that dumb fuck, he’s great.

Although Jane was damn hot. Beautiful even.

And i’m no Orlando Bloom, but second place is better than last.

Ah well.

Curses!

Hmmm, do I swear too much? I’ve always felt that the English language in all of its forms should be enjoyed and used. That includes so-called rude words.

These words are actually only offensive because modern society has deemed them thus. The words are usually shorthand for a person to vent their frustraton, exaggerate a situation or attack another.

You can do all three without swearing. I can put enough vitriol into a sentence without using a single rude word and cause more offense than an f-bomb.

In fact, people that tell me to fuck off probably won’t upset me. And yet “f-off you fat (anything)” will upset me far more.

Any words can hurt or offend depending on the intention and the emotion within them.

Interpersonal communication theory teaches us that the medium isn’t the message.

And so I use curse words in my everyday speak. Perhaps not much in the shop and not when I first meet people per se, but it is part of my vocabulary and so on.

If it does offend anyone, please just let me know. I don’t agree with you but I can respect your beliefs and try to moderate my language in your company.

But please, don’t judge me as being any less intelligent just because I don’t speak Queen’s fucking English. :)