Thursday 19 February 2009

Sissy fuss

I wrote a long blog abut my current emotional state.

It was almost eloquent and would have allowed people some insight and might have led to some advice.

It was more honest and concise than I can be in conversation.

Then I navigated away by mistake and lost it all.

Now I’m even more depressed.

Seriously, what’s the fucking point? I covet the life of all of you. I loathe mine and it’s making me bitter.

If something doesn’t change soon it may be time to just walk away. Walkabout. I won’t come back as Kate though.

Sisyphus was doomed to push a boulder up hill all day and then start anew having made no progress. This was mainly because he was a deceiftul shit. It was a fitting punishment.

I’m not perfect, but surely I’m not that bad. Maybe I once was, but that was fifteen years ago.

How long does atonement take?

I have no self worth without the love of another but no one will love a man who hates himself.

Ouroboros.

Is this a fitting punishment?