OK, time to start taking care of myself again...

Ugh. The last few weeks have been really hard.

I've had to redirect willpower from my long term goals, to new resolutions and efforts to not be self destructive and stupid.

Which has meant my home exercise regime fell to shit, I swam less and my calorie counting totally fell off the chart. I reverted to a 'see food' diet.

But it's been about three weeks and they say anything repeated is habit after three weeks or so. I'm going to hope I have convinced myself not to do the stupid things I wanted to avoid and now I can focus on looking after myself again.

So yesterday was the first day I managed a full set of home exercises again. And was pleased to see muscle memory allowed me to do a full (if painful!) set of press ups.

Now I'm focusing on my eating. I'm detoxing slightly my focusing on removing bread from the diet again. Breakfast was a bowl of grapefruit segment - stuffed full of antioxidants. 90 calories for that.

For snack, I had a pack of sliced chicken breast. 170 calories.

Lunch will be a hearty chicken and bacon pasta snack for 780 calories and I'll have the over half of the can of grapefruit segments as an afternoon snack.

Should come to 1130 calories in total.

Then swimming tonight and some sort of steak and veg dinner. Yum.

It's not perfect, but it's a start.

I'm also trying to wean myself off Pepsi Max. 2 litres a day is getting a bit much. I've got a bottle of mineral water as a substitute. Hopefully being better hydrated will help too.

Sorry folks, not an exciting blog entry but I need to track my crawl back out of hell - for my own peace of mind.