I've been in an excellent mood recently, but I could feel it burning out yesterday and today it has been completely snuffed out.
I'm sick of my status quo. Haven't been able to get my eating under control since things turned a bit shit in January. I managed just over a year of mostly successful calorie counting and weight loss, but I just can't seem to manage it anymore.
It was OK when I exercised more, but six or so weeks of tendinitis (CAUSED BY OVER-EXERCISING!!!) have seen me have to essentially start again. That's still work-in-progress, but it's very frustrating.
I need to work out what I want from life, as I have no idea anymore. I'm sick of feeling like contentment is an elusive state I will never reach.
To this end, I'm going to have a clear out and look to downsize my life. I need to be thinner. My life needs to be simpler and more enjoyable. I have way too much pointless stuff.
The laptop was a great purchase. Moving the home computer to the shop to replace the Dell was a good idea, but why am I bothering to set up the Dell as a media PC? I've put a bigger drive in the PS3 and I can stream from the laptop, so the Dell can be re-homed.
Time to downsize some of my comics and stuff too, pick stuff I love and stick with that.
I miss feeling inspired and productive. Tried to write earlier and just hated what I wrote. Maybe it's cos I'm trying to adapt a short story into a comic. It felt good at first and now feels twee and kinda shite. Maybe now that we've had Mum's inquest it's time to return to my novel. I left it with the main character's Mum dying, with the intention of then skipping on several months. But so many plot lines were in motion that I felt this would jar and realised I needed to stay with him, ride with him to the hospital, etc. And I couldn't face it then. Maybe now.
Ugh. Right list time.
Downsize: comics, graphic novels, books, DVDs, games.
Abandon media PC idea and consider ditching pointless technology/gadgets.
List all these for friends, then Freecycle the rest.
Goal: life to fit back into one studio apartment (have no intention of moving, liking living with M&K - the feeling may not be mutual! - but I ain't going anywhere, just defining parameters).
Goal: continue to increase exercise, sticking with new swim regime. Every ten lengths, do one front crawl power length to raise heart rate. Pause to take on water, then do the next ten lengths. Not a rest break, just hydrating. At the final ten, do two power lengths. Then increase to penultimate ten. Until eventually every ten lengths includes two power lengths. Currently, swimming total is set to as many as can be done in half an hour, rather than aiming for 100 total lengths. This is currently 60 lengths and the intention is to get faster.
Goal: analyse what I enjoy doing and what I don't enjoy. Aim to do more things I enjoy, less I don't. Within reason.
Goal: find a way to deal with growing anger. Anyone know any good streetfighting clubs round here? I don't mean the computer game!
2009 was shite and it seems to still have it's sticky finger prints all over 2010. Grrrr.
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