Update and walnut cake

It’s been a while. Things are ticking on. I failed to get any professional help, as my work hours make it difficult for me to see a counsellor. Apparently if you’re struggling with life’s load you should really struggle during office hours.

The NHS failed Mum, they seem to have failed me. But unlike Mum, I’m still young enough and lucky enough to have a bloody great network of friends.

I’ve put osme of you through hell and you’re still with me. Thank you. More than words can say.

I hope to never have to repay your kindness - because I wish the events of my 2009 to date upon no one. But I won’t hesitate to down tools and be there for you if you need me.

Anyway, enough emotional blathering. I feel much better, exercise has helped too. I am trying to get back on course with my swimming too.

I have in the past week had some great nights out, planned some time to escape and relax for a bit later this month and had my eyes tested, Step one to seeing whether I should get glasses or can consider laser eye surgery. Which in turn may en able me to learn to drive. Which in turn will give me more freedom and make me more self reliant.

I have ordered some Open University prospectuses to review too. i’m hoping my HND in Media Production will count towards credits for a degree, so we’ll see where we go from here. I’m going to review the possiblities and then call an advisor to see what can be done. I’m tempted to continue a study in communication studies as I remain interested in media production and have a renewed interest in intrapersonal communication and non-verbal signals (thans to Lie To Me). Social Sciences might be the key, though a business qualification may be the way forward instead. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks to Andy, Matt, Mel and Sara for their input and guidance on this front.

I’m also considering volunteering to be a Samaritans listener when I feel more together. This may be something I continue to pursue after the summer. I think I need to continue to sort myself out before I try to help anyone else and a good summer would be key to that.

Shame the sun’s vanished again, it was lovely here for a week or so. Fingers crossed it returns. I seem to be the only person I know who hasn’t had a barbecue yet. It’s driving me mad! And I’d really like to sit around my firepit drink with friends. Come back good weather, please?

What else? I’m doing two very unlike me things this month. One is on Thursday so wish me luck. Sorry to be vague, but whilst I am a very open person, some things will remains my business. For now. :)

But do wish me luck!

Off to see Drag Me To Hell tomorrow. Might try and catch Terminator afterwards if there’s time. And I’m finishing the Star Trek trilogy tonight with The Voyage Home, so it’s time for mindmelding with whales, nervepinching ignorant wankers on the bus and the lines “Everybody remember where we parked!” and “No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.” Good times.

Plans with upstairs in the shop continue apace. Most of the outstanding problems now are lying with outside contractors - namely the lighting dude. Blah. Will bug him after I finish this. Plus there’s painting and varnishing to do and my hoovers seem to have packed up. Sigh. But it is nice to see most of the things on my to do list are crossed off. Always feels like you’ve achieved something.

Back to Swindon this weekend. Will try to catch up with some of you, but I think I need to spend some long overdue time with my Dad.

If you have been, thanks for reading.